Dear One, You are currently sitting on the precipice of releasing some of things that you have been holding onto out of fear. And I know, sometimes it just feels like a landslide crashing down upon you, all of the fears coming to you at once.
And then there are some days you can stare at your fear in your face and go HA—I did not do the thing that I used to do, and I've conquered you, and I feel great!
But then a couple days later, the voices in your head come sneaking back around and whisper, "but what if...?" and you feel like you're facing the same battle again. It feels like you are never going to get out of this loop. But you are. You are. You are.
You are always making progress, even when you think you aren't. In the grand scheme of things, everything is always expanding, and evolving to a higher state of well-being. The fear of failure is strong within you. As a perfectionist who always tries to do the right thing, or get things right, you are very afraid to get things wrong.
As your past conditionings stare at you in your face, you start to fear weary and fear you might make the same mistake again. What if you repeat the pain of rejection, humiliation, and unworthiness you faced in your previous experiences? And honestly—what if you do? What is the worst that would happen? In truth, you would just learn and expand even more.
Don't be afraid of what might happen. You'll know as it unfolds, and feel free to make any "mistakes" as you wish. It is what colours your life. Also—remember that you are a different person now. You are much stronger and you have overcome a lot since your last situations. You are different, and the situation is different. While it may look like it has remnants of the past, it isn't the past. Know that you are here to bless it, and to transform it anew.
Trust yourself and how much you have grown. When you trust yourself to know what to do when the time comes, you release the attachment to the unknown in the future. xo Pauletta